Monday, September 6, 2010

My Life is Now Complete

Somehow, over these many years of mine, I've always had the feeling that something was lacking in my life, something I'd missed despite my age and experience, and last night, I discovered what it was; WOMEN'S ROLLER DERBY! Oh yeah, you young folks probably don't remember roller derby but it was quite popular on TV for a time. Menacing men wearing scowls and pads and throwing elbows and pushing opponents over the rail, all the while whizzing around an oval rink at breakneck speed. Now that was entertainment.

Last nights experience with the lady rollers lacked the ferocity of the men but there was lots of pushing and stumbles and falls although there was no rail to flip over. That was a little disappointing. My presence there was prompted by an invitation from a friend of mine who has a daughter that's a member on one of the teams and skates regularly. See what a college education can do for you kids?

Actually, I kind of enjoyed watching them. I learned about Jammers and Pacers and Blockers. Points are earned when Jammers pass members of the opposing team. Other than that, I have no clue about the rules. A man dressed in black with a handheld microphone, walked around the rink urging the crowd to yell and cheer and saying things like "Give it up for Criminally Insane". Yes that was the name on the back of one of the Jammers shirt. Other names were Torch Her, Severe Lisa Distik (sound it out) and Death by Kitty. Some wore face paint. The best makeup of the night had one lady looking a bit like the Joker from the Batman movie.

Perhaps the most intriguing part of the evening was the attire of one of the officials. A guy who looked to be at least six feet four and sporting full beard and mustache, was wearing ladies black mesh hose under his shorts. I asked my friend about it and said the guy always dresses like that.
Cross dresser? Getting in touch with his feminine side? Or just plain weird? In any case it was all part of the fun of roller derby.

And so emotionally satisfying. The hole in my life had been filled. I slept like a baby.


  1. No, not really. Sarcasm is my favorite sport.

  2. My dear uncle Warren, u r crazy and easily amused....


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