Monday, June 6, 2011

Chicken Wire

I’ve heard about the tornadoes, the floods, and the droughts. I know of the problems with the economy, health care, immigration, and tension in the Middle East. But today I want to discuss something really important, chicken wire. For you city folks, see photo below.

Chicken wire is a simple invention and does exactly what it’s supposed to do, keep chickens, ducks, geese, or other poultry confined and safe, well…sometimes. Other uses for chicken wire include parade floats, reinforcement for plaster or cement, and occasionally as a protective screen for musicians as seen in the move Blues Brothers.

However, necessity being the mother of invention, an entirely new usage for chicken wire was discovered by yours truly in a rare moment of pure inspiration. Alert readers of this blog may remember when the most beautiful bird in Oklahoma and possibly the last of the species—the Painted Bunting—was attacked and murdered by the wife’s pet, Brat Cat aka The Problem Child. The problems with cats and the birds here at the humble abode have been lamented ad nauseum and will not be repeated here. Seemingly there was no workable solution. It came down to birds or cats, but not both.

For the birds, the time of greatest vulnerability, the riskiest action of all, was when they dropped to the ground under the feeders, searching for any leftover tidbits that some careless bird had kicked out or dropped. The Brat Cat, speedy little bitch that she is, would be on them in a flash. Result: dead bird.

I pondered this problem over several spookers (bourbon with a splash of branch water) and that’s when it hit me. All that was needed was a barrier of some sort to interrupt the charge, to slow the cat down, thus giving the birds time to gain altitude, escaping fang and claw. Chicken wire! That was all it took. Only 24 inches high, encompassing the feeding ground in a mini-corral of safe haven, chicken wire has been the solution I’ve been searching for. No more dead birds, no more cats dodging heavy objects (rocks), no constant threat of divorce.

Peace has returned to the valley forever and ever, amen.

I hope.

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