A week from Sunday, a good portion of America will pop the top on about a million cans of beer, eat enough artery clogging barbeque to stop the heart of a lion, and tune in Super Bowl XLV. Quick now, how many Super Bowls will that be? XLV, hmmm. Please tell me what genius decided to use Roman Numerals to count the Super Bowls? Whoever he is should be stoned to death on the fifty yard line.
What’s wrong with using the numbers that we’ve known since first grade? The only places I know of that still use Roman Numerals are crossword puzzles (Cato’s 154) and grandfather clocks, and even the clocks screw it up. Note that the number 4 is represented by IIII instead of the traditional IV. Why? Because someone thought that it made a better visual symmetry with the VIII on the other side of the face. Whassup with that? When did we start changing the numbers to make them look better?
“Hey, how about we take the number 8 and turn it on its side instead of it sticking straight up in the air like some sort of totem pole?”
“Dude, that is so totally awesome. I love the symmetry. Go for it!”
Roman Numerals come from Ancient Rome for pity sakes. What’s wrong with Modern Rome? Furthermore, Wikipedia tells us that Roman Numerals are a cousin to the Estruscan Numerals and that might explain the weirdness of it as we all know what crazy bastards the Etruscans were.
All right, let’s figure it out; X=10, L=50, and V=5. Logically you would add them all together and Super Bowl XLV would be game number 65, correct? Wrong Pigskin Breath. And speaking of logic, how about XXXX-V? Four tens and a five. Make sense? Nope, won’t do. Instead we are forced to do the math. Since the L is to the right of the X, and L means 50, that would make it…uh, hold on. Oh crap, who knows? You see how ridiculous this is? Imagine Ancient Rome when Artorius asks a gal at the Coliseum,
“Hey Baby, can I have your number?”
“Sure, it’s VVV-MMXI.”
Poor guy never did hook up.
Enough. Don’t forget the game, February VI.