The cat known as Minnie le Mew has
Then there's the preventive maintenance aspect which has gotten completely out of control.
Me: Hon, have you seen my hearing aid? I left in on the dresser last night.
Missus: (mumbles something)
Me: What? I can't hear you.
Missus: (Yelling now) I put it in your sock drawer so the cats wouldn't eat it.
Then there's the matter of the open door/closed door policy. Certain doors must remain open at all times to allow access to the litter box, food bowls, water bowls, cat toys, and favorite sleeping spots. Others, but not many, remain closed, denying entry to such places as closets, certain bedrooms, and may God Have Mercy on your Soul if you leave the door to the attic stairs open. Why? Because the little darlings could dash up the steps, fall into the insulation, be trapped, and die a horrible death. Or so I'm told.
Now I may have explained the conditions here before but it needs to be repeated. I know, all you macho types are saying, "Why, I'd shoot them damn cats." You do not understand the situation. My choices are.
A. Deal with the cats or
B. Pay alimony and live under a bridge down by the river.
I knows my place Baby and it ain't #1.