Call 911, alert the media, call the neighbors, run up and down the street hollering "kitty, kitty, kitty" at the top of your lungs, OMG a cat is missing...again.
The lost cat scenario is not uncommon here at the abode. With the present population of four felines, an emergency once every two or three weeks would be about the norm. Usually the crisis lasts no longer than 20 minutes or so but with every tick of the clock past that, the tension rises. Overnight absences are the worst. All manner of horrible events can befall a cat when the sun goes down, both real and imagined. The Missus operates under what I call "The Asteroid Theory". No matter how unlikely the possibility that an asteroid could smash through the atmosphere and hit her cat, it's still a possibility and right along with bobcats, coyotes, bear, and the Sasquatch, is not to be easily dismissed.
On at least two occasions I could tell you about, the cats were found the next morning, asleep, and curled up at the bottom of the hall closet where some inconsiderate, insensitive, a-hole (that would be me) shut the door without first checking the whereabouts of all the cats.
Today's crisis began when Minnie le Mew (Minnie seems to be getting a lot of press lately) was last seen sunning on the back deck when once again, the neighbor's pit bulls came over to visit. (Will those people EVER get their fence fixed?) Cash and Lucky were eventually escorted home by their owner but Minnie was lost in the wilderness just as the last time when the dogs came around.
One hour into the search and still no Minnie. I voiced the opinion that hunger would overcome fear and Ms. le Mew would show up at suppertime if not before. Do I really need to tell you how that was received? A short time later, I hear a shout of relief, "I found her. She's in a tree." For Minnie to climb a tree is not an unremarkable feat as this cat has no front claws. The de-clawing was part of an agreement after the animal had destroyed a large section of door insulation, not to mention being responsible for a moon-sized crater in the carpet after some jerk (again, me) had shut her in the bedroom. Now, the fear was that, sans claws, poor kitty would not be able to safely descend.
Ladder Man to the rescue. At the risk of life and limb and fully expecting to be, at the very least, de-boweled, Minnie was snatched from the limb, and delivered safely to earth without incident.
Until next time, stay tuned to The Drama That Never Ends.